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CARRIE PARSONS
After the abrupt ending of my decade-long marriage, I suddenly found myself the solo parent of three, rebuilding our lives in a different country. The marriage had been mentally and emotionally abusive, and I began to realize that I had let the trauma accumulate over time. I needed to transmute the pain in a healthy, sustainable way.
After some soul-searching, I started focusing on the practice of gratitude. An avid DIY-er, I began creating hundreds of little hearts, which I called gratitude hearts. Attaching handwritten notes to the hearts, I would leave them around town for strangers to find. The notes explained the goal of the gratitude hearts. The intention was to pop the heart into a pocket, purse, or even just on a shelf. Each time the person noticed the heart, they were to pause momentarily, thinking of one thing they were grateful for in their life. Offering the gratitude hearts to others was the first time the concept of involving strangers in my healing journey ever landed on my radar. I could never have imagined back then how prominent strangers would become in my life going forward.
While encouraging gratitude was warming my heart, it still wasn't addressing and unpacking the trauma. I needed to try an alternate route. With great trepidation, I began to write out my story. I was shocked to discover that by putting my words on paper, it released the majority of the burdens that I had been carrying. Sending a copy to a friend, her response was, "now write the ending." So, I did.
Mending Broken falls under the branch of creative non-fiction: partly non-fiction, partly fiction. As such, I chose to publish under the pseudonym Hallie James. Concerned about potential retaliation, I refused to have my name attached to the book. The incredible crew at Tusitala Press honored my request, and Mending Broken was released to the world in April, 2023, authored by the fictitious Hallie James. It is available through the Greater Victoria Public Library system.
As I began to share Mending Broken publicly, I was dissapointed to learn how many other women identified with aspects of my story. Crestfallen, I discovered that a number of these women had never spoken to anyone about their experience for fear of judgement or reprisal; the same reason I had chosen to publish under the pseudonym. When I learned that speaking candidly and transparently about my own experience helped other women feel more comforable discussing their own stories, it really helped solidify the decision to create the Fifty First Dates Project to see how many other ways I could learn from - and support- strangers.
Now, with a website called around the campfire, you might be asking yourself, "how on Earth does any of this tie into campfires"? It's a fair question! The women who read my story began to tell me about their own experiences. They had wanted to have the conversation with someone - anyone - but many had never felt safe enough to speak openly. I thought about where I would feel most comforable sharing my story, and an image of a campfire came to mind. Sitting around the campfire, surrounded by friends, sharing our collective stories with one another.
That's my story. So, get comforatble around the campfire, and ignite the conversation!